Autoimmune illness requires a lot of self-care, you know the drill, you need to eat the right food which takes more time to prepare, you need to get enough rest, there are expensive supplements to take, various appointments like acupuncture or massage to get to, researching new ways to care for yourself, meditating, yoga and the list goes on and on and on.
It can all feel a little exhausting and stressful and this can lead to self-care avoidance.
I have felt this myself many times, sometimes I just want to skip the veggies and meal prep and get take out, or I just want to sit on the couch and do nothing and sometimes all I want is to not go to any appointments, curl up in my favourite chair and read a book.
I know though that if I don’t take care of myself I won’t be healthy and when I avoid my self-care I have less energy, which then leads to more self-care avoidance which then leads to a flare up. Then I am back at square one and having to start all over with healing vs maintaining my health. This is no fun and the cycle is super exhausting.
When people talk of self-care they make it seem like it’s all so easy you just have to eat healthy right? Or go to bed early, or go for a walk or light a candle or go to the spa but often when it comes to doing those things and doing the combination of self-care you need, it can feel overwhelming.
There is a way to course correct though and when you know some of the mental road blocks to self-care you can get past them pretty easily.
How to course correct when your self-care is stressing you out:
Self-Care takes commitment and effort
Let’s be real about self-care it usually takes either time, money, effort or all of the above. This is something that shouldn’t glossed over and knowing this can help you find solutions to make your self-care easier and more doable.
I don’t love cooking, it’s high effort for me but I do it because I have to. To make the effort it takes easier I cook large portions in batches. This way I have healthy food I can eat during the week and I don’t have to cook every night. It makes the effort easier and the time is takes is less.
Acknowledge what’s right & Be realistic
Often we don’t actually acknowledge what we do well and can be hard on ourselves by focusing on what we feel we should be doing, not what we are already doing.
For a long time, I felt really terrible about how much exercise I was getting (it wasn’t a lot) but instead of acknowledging the walks around the block I was going on or the stairs I took at work I was focusing on the fact that I wasn’t doing weights or more cardio. I was stuck in guilt and feeling bad about myself vs taking steps every day (pun intended) to have physical activity.
When I acknowledged what I did I was able to feel better about myself and work to expand on it and be consistent. I made sure I would park further away from an entrance, I would stretch or do leg lifts while I was cooking. I let go of my guilt and focused on taking what I was doing further.
It’s also important to be realistic about what your life is like at the present moment. What is your schedule like? You may not be able to do an hour workout but you could do one in 20 minutes that could be just as effective. It’s about knowing your schedule, your lifestyle and what you need at the present moment.
Don’t expect Perfection
Expanding on the point of being realistic you can’t expect perfection, it’s not attainable and a waste of time. It’s like the saying goes; good, better, best; start with good and expand from there.
I eat pretty well but I will still have delicious sugary fried gluten free donut goodness every now and then. It’s not perfect but it’s good enough. I don’t do it all the time and there are times when I have to reset my diet but I don’t expect myself to be perfect.
I have tried perfection in the past and it was too stressful and frustrating leading me down a path of abandoning my overall healthy eating for something less helpful.
It may also mean you aim for your best in one area but don’t worry so much about another. For example, you may need to eat really well for a while but don’t need to focus on moving your body as much during that time. It’s all about what’s most important for the place you are at in the present moment.
Let go of any guilt you have for not doing things how other people are doing them or how you feel you should be doing them. Guilt is another time waste that gets you nowhere. Start with good enough and build from there.
Build your energy
When you’re tired, you’re are more likely to make poor choices. I know when I don’t get enough rest, I crave chocolate more and don’t want to move my body. When I get enough sleep, I make better choices. The same goes with eating well, the better I eat the more energy I have. Taking the steps to gradually build your energy will help you have more energy to take care of yourself.
To help you have energy for self-care you may want to get help. Get someone in to clean your house. Work less hours at your job, hire a sitter to help with the kids or an online tutor to help them with homework to give you some extra time. Say no to things that you don’t have time for, buy ready-made healthy food so you can cook less. Whatever you can take off your plate will help you have more energy, providing you the capacity to take better care of yourself.
Make it pleasurable
When something feels like a chore you will treat it like a chore. Now I am not saying everything will be fun and a Mary Poppins game but there are ways to make things more pleasurable or at least easier.
Like I’ve said healthy eating can feel like a chore but when the food is tasty and when I do batch cooking it makes it easier. If you don’t like going to the gym take a fun class to get more movement in your day.
If you never get time to yourself have a spa day or get a massage someplace divine. Create a sacred space, light some candles or listen to your favourite CD.
Life is supposed to be fun and enjoyable and filled with pleasure so see how much you can add to your everyday. Even if it’s as simple as using a wine glass for water.Self-care doesn’t have to be hard it just takes some effort and commitment. It will always be a big part of your life and is the key to being healthy and happy. When you can make is easier and stay consistent there is nothing you can’t achieve.
