Connections of 2020

December 16, 2020 By: KylaM - No Comments

2020 could be recapped as a year with really bad Wi-Fi and the prevailing message is ‘lost connection’.

I’m not talking about the technical aspects of all of the online meetings, visits or gatherings we have had but how the way we connect has changed. How connection is the fundamental aspect for everything that is going on right now.

Right now our ability to avoid in person connection is keeping us and others safe. The avoidance of this connection has had a ripple effect that has changed everything.

A Collective experience

It’s rare that we have such a collective experience like COVID. While how we experience it may be different, we are all effected by it. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you believe or where you live chances are COVID has changed your life. For some this may be a big change for others not so much.

The common quote from a lot of politicians and other folks is, ‘we are all in this together.’ It may not always feel like that, crisis brings out the best and the worst in people. But for the purpose of this blog we are going to look at those doing their best to make a bad situation better. We’re going to look at the helpers.

Like the people you don’t know, the strangers who wear a mask, stay at home as much as possible and are helping to keep everyone safe. #wearamask #stayathome

There are a dozen different ways we connect with the various people around us in a day. The cashier at the store, the online phone representative, your co-worker, the person walking by you on the street, the bus driver, your friends, your family; our day can be filled with numerous connections with people.

This isn’t something we often think about, we’re busy going about our day but how we connect with people is a huge aspect of our life.

It’s all changed

We’ve changed how we connect with people and for a lot of us that change has difficulties, some are easier now but some are still hard. When masks were first introduced my mother missed seeing people’s faces, seeing their smile. Now instead of a smile we look for a crinkle around the eyes.

Recently at the grocery store I had a very helpful and friendly cashier whose big smile showed in her eyes. To show my thanks for her going above and beyond I thanked her and gave my own big smile by aggressively crinkling my eyes. I can hear my mother in law’s voice telling me I will get wrinkles but it’s totally worth it.

The hardest for me has been hugs, I miss them, many of my friends are great huggers now I just give really enthusiastic waves. It’s strange. Birthdays are postponed, no one comes in the house and we do our best to maintain 6 feet distance. Now it all seems pretty normal and on the positive side at least there are no more handshakes, I don’t miss them. No more fear of sweaty palms (mine not yours).

In person meetings for work, visits with friends and family have been replaced with virtual ones. This has led to many frustrating and comical moment. The funniest I heard of was a supervisor who turned herself into a virtual potato and couldn’t figure out how to change it so she did the entire meeting that way.

While weddings and funerals can go ahead with a small amount of people many are having them online. My great aunt passed away this year and I attended her funeral virtually, my family is not alone in this, many others have had the same experience. Most difficult are those that are in hospital or long term care and can’t see their loved ones. Visits at hospitals are down to one person, done via phone or not done at all.

It’s an impossible situation that is hard on everyone, the family and the front-line workers that are working tirelessly to treat patients and be there for them. They are the ones to comfort the patient, to give updates to families that can’t be close and to give bad news when it happens. The ripple effects of this will be felt for a long time, it’s traumatizing for many.

All of this has forced us to adapt, we’ve changed how we make our connections. It’s been heartbreaking and awe inspiring to witness. We have a great capacity to adjust and work around things, to make a difficult situation a little better. When we collectively pull together there is no limit to what we can accomplish and in very little time if needed.

Christmas isn’t cancelled, it’s just changed

With the holiday season upon us, it is clear that it will be a very different from previous ones. The annual holiday party you look forward to every year is cancelled, there’s no getting together, just being quiet and staying at home.

My brother is disabled and lives in a group home, their house is on strict lockdown and this will be the first Christmas I won’t be with him. I would rather have him safe than risk exposing him to COVID but it’s going to be really weird not celebrating with him.

On top of that on Christmas day we will not be at the farm with my Mom opening presents. There will be no games after dinner is finished and all the dishes are washed and put away. I will not be listening to my brother playing the Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton Christmas album on repeat and I do mean on repeat, all day long.

All of it feels strange and I will miss seeing my friends and family in person. I am so fortunate though that my loved ones are all healthy and safe. There is a light at the end of the tunnel which makes all of this easier to deal with. I will see all of them soon enough and we will be able to celebrate in person the events that were postponed.

The holidays aren’t cancelled we are just going to celebrate them in a different way. How fortunate are we that we have the ability to communicate on a phone and see the person’s face? That we can send a photo or message in an instant, it’s pretty great for staying connected.

The importance of Connection

This year I have been evaluating what’s important to me and one of my values is community. My immediate community like friends and family but also the greater community around me, the people that are pretty much strangers but are my community.

Our actions affect the countless people in our community and this is not just a COVID thing it’s applies to everyday. Give the grocery store cashier a compliment and you improve their day; buy local and you help keep your neighbour’s business open; shovel your sidewalk and people can walk safely or get around in their wheelchair, all of this creates a better community and demonstrate how connected we really are.

My hope is that the lesson we take away from the pandemic is how is how we are all connected even if it may not seem like it, even if we don’t know the person. The choices we make affect someone else and if we get it right we can live in a better world.

So, in the spirit of thinking of others and creating a better community I ask you to help support a campaign I am part of that is raising money for the Edmonton Food Bank.

The campaign is called the Giftmas Blog tour which is an annual event hosted by Rhonda Parrish of http://www.rhondaparrish.com. You can find out more about why Rhonda started this campaign and donate to it at the link here: https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/2020-giftmas-fundraiser/

Every dollar you donate equals three meals, so even if all you have is a dollar it can help feed someone for a day. The goal is $1000 (which means 3000 meals) but I think we can do better than that so please donate as much as you can.

I wish you and your loved ones all the best this holiday season, stay safe, take care of yourself and stay connected as best as you can.

Happy Holidays!

Kyla

Here are the links to check out the rest of the participants, there are some excellent blogs.

December 14: